So I moved past that fear and then I remembered another hard time. I remembered what it was like to loose Gabriel and only days after, having people posting pictures of their ultra sounds, their baby bumps, their newborns, all the things I would now not experience with my sweet Gabriel so that's where this is coming from. Some people may say it's "stupid" to think that way or I should just "be happy for myself" but I know what it's like to see your friends post things when you are aching so I just want my friends and family to know, if any of you are experiencing a loss whether known or unknown by me, I just want you to know I love you and I don't do this to offend you, I don't post pictures to make you sad, I'm doing this to celebrate another life in our family, I'm going to be posting pictures now and I am doing it because I love this baby and I want to celebrate it. I hope everything works for you and your family, I TRULY do but for now, I need to do this for my family and for my heart that slowly feels like it's healing now.
So with that, everyone, again, this is Bean Bean I'm 20 weeks on Saturday and yes we know what we're having and no I'm not posting it on here yet lol we have a gender reveal party on Sunday and I will post it afterwards but we are honestly just happy it is healthy and developing like it should. I kind of hate that question these days, people will ask me "How do you feel about the gender?" "Are you excited?" "Of course we are! We don't care what it is as long as its healthy!" is what I answer, and it really is true, once you experience something like our family did, you just want a baby in your arms again, you just want a baby to call yours and know that it loves you unconditionally and you love it unconditionally too!
after the storm and just a few days after finding out Bean Bean had developed everything that Gabriel couldn't and that it is healthy, we took Liam to play at a park and above us was a beautiful double rainbow from a passing storm.. I know Gabriel and God look down on our family and are blessing us! So there you have it, that's our good news and we're pretty happy about it!! Baby Bean Bean will be arriving in the end of December 2015! I think it's a great way to end a hard year and a great way to start a new one!! :)
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