Baby News

You'd think this would be an easy one, you post a picture, you say we're expecting or something fun and that's that.. this is different.

  

This is our new addition, Liam likes to call it Bean Bean and we decided it kind of stuck. So, this is Bean Bean. For some close family and close friends, you already knew about this but unlike Liam and unlike Gabriel, this was hard for me to post. Don't get me wrong, I can't even tell you how excited I am for another baby!! But I felt like I couldn't just post a picture and say "yup, here we are" I had mixed feelings. I  remember  wanting to wait with Gabriel, I told myself I wanted to wait until I "knew I wouldn't miscarry" until I "knew it was safe" but I've realized that every life is precious and I'm really glad we celebrated Gabriel no mater how short a life he had and I can't imagine going through all we did with out the support we got.

So I moved past that fear and then I remembered another hard time. I remembered what it was like to loose Gabriel and only days after, having people posting pictures of their ultra sounds, their baby bumps, their newborns, all the things I would now not experience with my sweet Gabriel so that's where this is coming from. Some people may say it's "stupid" to think that way or I should just "be happy for myself" but I know what it's like to see your friends post things when you are aching so I just want my friends and family to know, if any of you are experiencing a loss whether known or unknown by me, I just want you to know I love you and I don't do this to offend you, I don't post pictures to make you sad, I'm doing this to celebrate another life in our family, I'm going to be posting pictures now and I am doing it because I love this baby and I want to celebrate it. I hope everything works for you and your family, I TRULY do but for now, I need to do this for my family and for my heart that slowly feels like it's healing now.

So with that, everyone, again, this is Bean Bean I'm 20 weeks on Saturday and yes we know what we're having and no I'm not posting it on here yet lol we have a gender reveal party on Sunday and I will post it afterwards but we are honestly just happy it is healthy and developing like it should. I kind of hate that question these days, people will ask me "How do you feel about the gender?" "Are you excited?" "Of course we are! We don't care what it is as long as its healthy!" is what I answer, and it really is true, once you experience something like our family did, you just want a baby in your arms again, you just want a baby to call yours and know that it loves you unconditionally and you love it unconditionally too!

So,  for now, this is just me, introducing another great blessing into our lives Bean Bean is what us mothers who have experienced a loss call our "rainbow baby" because it's our calm
after the storm and just a few days after finding out Bean Bean had developed everything that Gabriel couldn't and that it is healthy, we took Liam to play at a park and above us was a beautiful double rainbow from a passing storm.. I know Gabriel and God look down on our family and are blessing us! So there you have it, that's our good news and we're pretty happy about it!! Baby Bean Bean will be arriving in the end of December 2015! I think it's a great way to end a hard year and a great way to start a new one!! :)