Reality Check

Hey Everyone,

Well, I don't know if it's from Valentines Day or being pregnant or both but my heart is so full today and so happy. Lately I've been a little sad, I finished school in December, Christmas has come and gone and all that was left behind was a bunch of snow, fog, and dark dark skies. So needless to say, I was feeling a little down and just sitting around in my parent's home all day waiting for Colt to get home kills me. So I've had a few break downs, a few days where I stress out, and a few days of just scaring myself about the pregnancy. I've had SO much on my mind, I take my final written test on March 7th and it was expensive to pay for which gives the added pressure to pass. Then I keep thinking about delivery. As of today, I have 10 weeks left until Liam gets here. I start getting in my head and worry about everything of course. How bad is it going to hurt? or Will we even be ready or have enough things that he needs?

So I kind of had a break down after Valentines Day, I got a whole date night with Colt and then he had to go back to work the next day which (I know it's pathetic) but it made me sad. He's pretty much my best friend and so I hate having to say goodbye every morning. So when I told him everything I've been feeling, he sat and listened and then told me "Why are you so worried about negative things that might not even happen?" honestly my first reaction was to be kind of mad. I just vented to you and now you say this?! But it made me realize a few things. First.. he was right, yeah I said it lol but I've been so worried about so many things and they may or may not happen. I worry so much and really I think a lot of this has come about since being pregnant, I think to myself I have no IDEA how to burp a baby or know what a newborn cry means, I don't know how to bathe a newborn, I don't know much of anything with a little newborn baby but Colt has been my biggest support.

He keeps me going and tells me all the time that I will be fine and that I will be a great mom. Anyway I feel like I'm kind of all over the place with this post. Basically after everything, Colt and I sat in bed and put music on my belly and it was so cool to see Liam kicking and moving every where. Then we decided to go to bed and I just couldn't sleep that well so I waited for midnight when Liam is really awake and just sat there feeling him move around. It's not like this is the first time I've done this or anything but just realizing that this little angel is in my belly and will be here soon made me get so happy and I just felt so at peace. I just sat in the dark and had tears rolling down my face, I realized how real this is and also how big this is. I'm still a little nervous of course but I really am just so excited for our new addition and I know with Colton's help, we will just enjoy our new little family.

With that, we just had an appointment yesterday and everything looks very good. I'm a little sad because I guess we don't get anymore pictures the rest of the time but we still get ultra sounds every now and again. I'm also at the point now where I go every two weeks for appointments and check on him which I'm happy about. So this appointment everything looked good and it also looks like we might be having a chunkers. lol he is already in about the 80th percentile for his weight and the doctor said "Well, if he keeps going at this rate, you're looking at about an 8 or 9 pound baby" ... oh boy haha so I guess we'll see what happens but I know either way he's going to be quite the cutie pie! :) well I'll just keep updating everyone every now and again but so far things are good and I can't believe I only have 10 weeks left! :)